PILOTING THE PERFECT MOVE

Everyone needs to have some humor in these difficult economic times. Below is a list of commonly heard real estate terms from A to E. There will be more later. Enjoy and remember if you I can help you in any way, please call on me and let me help you PILOT THE PERFECT MOVE.

A

Abandonment – Everyone present for a contract signing but the buyer.

Absentee Owner – Any property holder with I.Q. under three digits

Accord – Small car driven by agents not yet able to afford Mercedes.

Acre – Necessary space for a family of six in Utah, a family of four in Eastern Suburbia, and 500,000 people in NYC.

Anchor Tenant – Tenant covered by Stabilization or Rent Control.

A.R.M. – First part of body that is twisted during real estate negotiations.

Asking Price – Amount set on property that brokers think is too high, sellers think is too low, and buyers think will be twice the final selling price.

At risk rules – Game rules in Advance Fee which govern whether or not to taste the seller’s porridge, sit in his rocking chair, or worse, sleep in his bed.

B

Backup Contract – Contract written in such a way that it raises everyone’s hackles.

Base line – “Your property is worthless.”

Bay – Sound emanating from those worn thin in real estate transactions.

Bay Window – Site at which baying occurs.

Block – Derogatory reference to buyer’s or seller’s head.

Blockbusting – Convincing stubborn party in real estate transaction to see your point of view.

Boring Test – Real estate licensing exam that probes deeply.

Borough – To dig a deep hole and crawl in when humiliated.

C

Cap – Small beret worn on head to keep brains from blowing out when interest rates rise.

Cellar – Owner of property who wishes to sell lower portion of his/her building.

Circuit Breaker – Purchaser who goes directly to seller, by-passing real estate sales agent.

Closing – Act of God.

Closing Statement – “Thank God”.

Concrete – Substance in which feet of buyers and sellers get stuck.

Cratering – Act of hurling oneself from skyscraper when depressed.

Cul-de-sac – Bag in which legal contracts are carried.

D

Deal – Distribute cards on rental properties.

Debtor’s Position – Prone.

Deed of Trust – Salesperson loaning the buyer a down payment.

Defective Title – Sir Dr. John Smith, Esq., III.

Developer – Muscle builder who converts raw land into housing.

Dummy – Same as absentee owner.

E

Easement – The right of one agency to trespass on another agency’s exclusive property.

Egress – Escape clause that permits buyer or seller to get out of deal.

Endorsement – Broker patting self on back.

Equitable Title – “I’m OK, You’re OK”.

Estate – 500,000 acre ranch tract in Texas, 3 acre tract in Westchester County, NY, and 1500 square feet residence in NYC.

Et ux. – Eat your wife.

Execute – To end the life of a troublesome person in a deal.

Extension – Time elapsed between a bank deposit and the clearance of funds.