PILOTING THE PERFECT MOVE

Realtor’s like to make lists about what a buyer needs to do to sell a home.  I figure I will give you a list of things that you can do to not sell your home. Here’s a cynical list to be followed only by those intent on not selling their house. These are situations that I have encountered during my real estate career.

10. Stage it like you are big Civil War fan and have rebel flags and Confederate memorabilia all over the place.

9. Refuse to have open houses.  I mean, hey, weekends are for watching sports games and sleeping.  Let the prospective home buyers find a time that’s not inconvenient for me.

8. Don’t let agent list home on FMLS and MLS.  Don’t tell anyone I am selling my house! 

7. Refuse to have your agent put a lockbox on the property.

6. Insist on keeping your four cats each with their own litter boxes in a small two bedroom condo.  (This one smelled real nice!)

5. Don’t want a for sale sign.  Don’t want passers-by to know home is for sale.

4. Hire your cousin who is not a full time agent who travels for work to sell your home. After all, it’s more important to hire somebody you have a connection with than a real local professional who will be available for you almost all the time.

3. Insist on the buyer to pay for your commission when you are the listing agent.

2. Paint the house in a bright blue color and have it clash with all the homes on the street.

1. Overprice the home because my home is much better than anything else in the subdivision.